Funkangeles

A World O Funk…. Damn-it! where is my band?


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Silver Bells …

Hello hi there!  Youz..

To everyone, that’s taken the time or stumble to my blog and subjected oneself  to the shenanigans of foolery & buffoonery  in the guise of a band quest.  A  ruse that  seem to even fool me!  Because now  I’m writing I’m a reader and i’m doing this writers thingy. I am!!! I dobie do be doing this…..

It’s fun, I’m too dumb to effect the world but if I can make you kick you legs up in glee and hilarity………….

I’m looking under your dress …  hehe hee (i’mabadboy)

These has been the most gruesome holidays, this season. We as a whole will recover and hopefully correct the errors. Hopefully  we learned this year.

So to my readers where it applies Merry Christmas 2012 God Bless you .

For my reader not of this faith of other faiths.   Happy Holidays enjoy your celebrations and if it happen already. Great!!! hoped it rocked!!

Non religious persons be safe and have an enjoyable winter

Haters of America see you next year until then.. ingest defecation

I worked up Silver Bells the funkangeles way, tell me u hate it or love it. just tell me   thanks

Live ur Life & Love

Thank you for visiting!!!!

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From the passing the buck files

Apple reportedly fires Maps manager after iOS 6 complaints | The Verge.

Mayans fires former apple maps manager after Fridays debacle of a failure.

Said a spokesperson from an unknown location. Due  to the world demise not happening and when many unfortunate terrifying experiences didn’t occur…. We have decided to terminate our relation with designer..


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Bite me


(this post contain foul language,my apologies)  re-read title 
I wrote this a long time ago never posted 
I will now add Gun Manufactures…

 
Gentle reader it has come to my attention that a few of you..I’m not pointing fingers…..  People are putting up with life’s uppercuts and jabs to kidneys.
I know not everyone is built for confrontation and this is to be understood.   
We are a civilized society with rules and moral structuring. 
Laws are in place to protect our right as a free human being. 
If someone wrong you, you sue them. No physically required.
But there are time you
Must and can say “BITE ME” and move on…
 

There are times where you’ve got no win ..
Your screwed, hand is in the cookie jar
The wire have been tripped 
The defecation has hit the rotary oscillator..
 
We make unintentional mistake..
 
 
My big Sister Renee…the first real bad mf i met (toughness) came back into my life when I was fourteen years old. She was living in New york with my aunt sis. i remember my sister up to the age five when i left New York.
My mom and the rest of us were in the caribbean, her home. We moved there  from New york when I was five. We moved back statesides to conneticut..
My sister came to the house in connecticut…she was 17 or 19 i don’t remember but thrill, I was .. (my sister was rightfully angry she was not  down in the caribbean with us  i found out later in life)  but I was and still crazy about her
 
With her came this New York raised militant, angry black woman…. i was enamored 
 
My Sister looked after her little brother by strengthening my internal core, helping to  made me less of a pussy…
I was a fat kid  or as they would said back in those days chubby/ husky, he’s big boned…no i wasn’t.. I was fat, I ate, no excise fatboy
The kids were tough on me i talked with the caribbean accent, I would said three but it came out tree so i was a blast to them.  
 
My sister, love you Renee offered internal strength …”Fuck them, you use to never know them…”
that made me feel so good just for the truthfulness of it!  A real muthfucker!
 
It Is better to be pissed off  than piss on…
 
Your adopted
 
Space aliens dropped you off.. 
 
Only I can abuse you (she never told me that one i guessed)
 
Fuck em just to see the look on their face
 
Don’t Piss on my head and tell me it raining..
 
Because you see my  sister didn’t and don’t take no shit from no one. 
She was the first female pipe-fitter at naval submarine base in Connecticut  when women weren’t getting  jobs let alone a black female pipe fitter.
 As girly  and pretty as any one ..
I remember my sister designing &  sewing for herself and some of her girlfriends. she would draw  and cut it out patterns and make her own wardorbe 
So quite not doing your best is not in our make-up.
 
On that note, to whom it may concern: learn the words Bite me and use it. Try at least two bite me’s  this week. No, bedroom bite me don’t count!
 
This should not be attempted without proper supervision 
 
Here I’ll start… Republicans who want to keep everyone po..(can’t afford poor)   BITE ME!!!!
Gun lobbies and their greedy bosses Bite me then eat Shit and Die..
And the stupid ignorant backwater crackers that  calls the president of the United States a nigger.
Bite me,Fuck you, eat shit and shoot yourself in the mouth
 
A public  service announcement……
Sorry readers
 
N a Funk 


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Pertaining to the Heart

Personal pie…    

I wasn’t taught. It was incorporated in my care

And when I became aware

It was everywhere

I liked, my bowl.

I loved…. moms hold.

And When I cried,

Love came,  dried my eyes.

I had it, in my five brothers.

Who’d hit me with a clout.

It’s a smack upside the head.

Saying, little brother look out!

With these gift of compassion,

And brutal kid gloves :).

I knew

A woman who loves me,

Will know

She’d been loved!!

In this life

One

I  found

methinks…

special.

Put roots down…

One had we.

then two

Then came a third

Expanded  the crew

Sadly

Somewhere in this mix

And I don’t know where

Beginnings..

Of unravelling

Saying Someone

I don’t Care!!

Being taught

To Talk Find & Relate

Hopeful words

useless

those I ate.

So lost In a world of  love

Not knowing how or what to do!

No hand or holds Grown man,

No love, no soup for you.

I had found my own

Personal hell

She did know love

for  herself..

not begrudging for any blame

her parents

my parent!

where

Not the same.

My Daughter raised, mostly alone

As a girl she received mostly mom’s scorn..

Far much better for sons,

she imbibed love  for these one.

And Babies are now big

and now strong

and you can bet

They understand love.

Grandma’s form!

On days,

I’ll hold

One  child

And we’ll  talk.

Tell them the truth.

Pay attention, be of good thoughts.

For there are some people

Without instructions

Pertaining to the Heart

Funkangeles

This post is related to this picture post.

Thankful..


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Don’t Bind me

I’m dreaming and Emily Litella calls me………..
 
      Ok , It’s coming into the holidays and lately in my dreams I’m all over the place but this one i’m with Jesus
I like checking in…
       Were chillin, chopping it up, small talk. how Is Michael Clarke Duncan going to fit up in a bed. in heaven?. Hugh Hefner doesn’t have to come he is in heaven already?  haha got jokes..I asked. what was the first  thing ray charles wanted to see?  a way out of hell, because Ike turner won’t shut up….oh ok, Is Red Foxx still hiding behind Richard Pryor who is asking Michael Jackson if he’s going to try again tomorrow to get in? 
   We’re talking  and  not realizing but I’m lying (white lies) and  who i’m dreaming with?  there’s the problem.  He know everything!!!.   I’m soo stupid,  i’d say  i go to church almost every sunday and don’t miss a day, Jesus!…   He’d just look at me and shake his head and say…ha ha that’s hot,  every sunday huh..,… “that’s hot ?”  haha
He reveals to me, Bin laden calls me every day  he doesn’t want the 100 maidens the all look like Idi Amin Dada…fat and bald headed.. And Saddam and son and Gaddafi and Sons keeps ordering mac ribs sandwiches and eating them they can’t stop..  This is Jesus!!! you know, no straight answers. When the goblet is full it will reveal.  Gather yee at the pond and skip rocks until rain reveals that you are truly wet.  And only then you will know If los angeles will ever have a  football team….. You see he is Jesus, and is the revealer, you better understand…woe be unto you if you understand wrong on a revelation..
No no i didn’t say take the burning bush to the mobile gas station!!! You blew everybody up!!!!  That’s not what i revealed!!I can I get it in a statement type form …kinda?  
 
 
So I hear a ring!! And Jesus busts out A Galaxy III  looking at me and whispers before answering. I don’t need it but it’s flossy! 
He speak into the phone “Jesus”    LIKE A REGULAR GUY!!!  Think about that!  He can say, do, whatever he wants!!!  “Hello Jesus! died on the cross for you. or “hello Jesus… I know”    They wouldn’t  have to say anything…..  he KNOWS!!!!  So early  Hay-suse was telling me,  he had an iphone five but he kept  finding himself  in the corridors and back lots of hell.  Well the truth be told…. shhhhhh it’s a secret!    The apple new maps os were made in hell and sold to to apple and paid for by……no i told u too much already…just know they killed steve.    
 
 Jesus said when he had spoke to Steve about it . He was soo pissed,( steve was)that he got Jesus a Samsung III……   Now that’s pissed… So our heavenly son of the father flashed his sammy and said…. one minute and hands me his  phone!!!  
Perplexed, placing to my ear,” Hello? ‘
 
“Hi”  I hear a  squeaky  tiny voice.
“It’s Emily Litella”.. and she starts in…

What is all this i hear about binding women?  I say emliy..   It is not a very nice thing to do!! When you bind women you can bruise their delicate little wist and the dainty little feet!  Miss Litella, I tried to interrupt, on she continued…  “Especially if your binding them doggy style as  oppose to behind the back….Oh snap emily’s going there, i better stop her… When I was younger, I use to take those binder underneath my.. EMILY!!!!.. ..huh? yes?  And I told her.. A binder full of women. Miss Litella,  A  Binder full of women oh.. ooh that different! Nevermind…..

Oh Oh could you deliver a message for me?  sure i say…

Tell Jane…….She’s still a bitch..Thank you!

Still so sweet!!

And with that I Woke up!
Like Conan O’Brien…. too late and on a station that’s transmitting from pluto, on the AM band with big knobs and tubes with a coat hanger antenna for transmitting….
What I learned..
Don’t watch the debate and drink and eat pizza with cheese in the crust nachos and a hot link… I’ve found a correlation between over cheesing too much beer, the debates, links ,nachos and a Bible on the coffee table.
It’s all in the makings of a strange dream ,A dream  that was just too vivid…..
Then I saw all the pizza  & Nachos gone,  i remember not eating all……and there footprints in the carpet lightly but they were there…leading to a sealed window…….
I smiled….. and took a slurp from an empty can…

Funkangeles

Beta Tester Badge 3,


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Dracula the Count’s pissed! Installment I

The Count in a modern world….

     I was up late the other evening burning the midnight old.. working hard on a story….I’m up on the third floor attic room with the big picture window it’s affords me lots of privacy. I get important thesis and outlines done up here.  Mancave on high.. So I’m working hard…. focused on my screen… Becca…….huh? naw the details aren’t important…(heard from the screen) “yes baby all the way doown..ohoh…bang that frijole..you big nasty.     When i heard a light tapping at the window    but  because of my focus on getting this work done…the tapping turned into more of  banging? Then the tapping  got loud  &  louder…I cursed to myself,  dirtyfrickinglittleassholeshi!.darn it i said!.  I was almost done with this a ahum chapter outline….  And here is one of them damn neighbor kids is looking for one of my kids, they’re out! At sleepover i holler, f*ck Perky dingles nutz.. is what came to mind.  I’m on the third floor, they must have gotten a hold of ladder and climbed up..Dragging my ass over to windows, I see it’s not a kid at all. What i see in my window is  and old bald headed guy and with some f*cked-up  choppers…skin green.. But that wasn’t the worst of it the DUDE WAS JUST STANDING THERE,  F L O A T I N G!!!    LOOKING AT ME WITH RED/GOLD GLOWING EYES…
“WHERE IS THE YOUR LADDER” I SCREAMED”
 I was a thirteen year old girl meeting Justin Bieber, high pitched response , “How are you doing that that shit???”…blurted right out of my mouth. not waiting for and answer while slowly  backing up, i tripped over my pants.  Shockingly, around my ankles…. Not the time for this nor time for explanation/ justification, and..forget ya’ll, divorced ok??  dang.. falling on my bum, while backing up. I’m looking up at him thru the window and he doesn’t look to sadistically evil he just looks kinda pissed but still spooky, shit he’s floating.  He gesturing to me to get up and come over and open the window!  So looking around for witness or help..upon hearing nothing..but his craggy breathing outside the window..my words….” I, I, wait a a min minnuesha a sec..I” stammering like I lost my mind.  I got up to cross..I got a little bold.. I got a big  cross..a big silver cross yea… and silver bullets and silver gun and I eat and shit garlic…. so you don’t want no part of this and i got herpes t will that stop you?….Then I notice something strange, he had a pig with him…had it in his arm all the time..I didn’t notice this until it squealed. He looked at me then the pig and answered before i could even ask him.  He said.. “I mayhaps geth thy thirst, whilst we spaked…thusly i carry ah, how do-ith you young flesh bags say? A  fourtheth  , a houceth with thee, thus insuring that I  bringing no harm to thee. Or some crap like that, real Victorian spooky like..missing wasonly the spooky music. Easing over to my work station…Seing it was 3:30am, sunrise in two and half hours, note to self.   I picked up the blunt and smoked .. He saw me kick back and try to chill. Knowing i was decision making,  And so did he, after twenty min or so he took a slurp of pig..   I took a drag and checked to see if i had my damn camera phone. Finally having my courage steeled up. I rose and slowly approached and blurted……
YOU WANT TO BITE ME!!!   His response was, “No No not so, young flesh..” he spoked. “Since your-ith thyne writer, We have a need (i’ll translate 4 u now)  for someone like you. I  do require your service for which i shall reward you..
Shit I almost fell for it, until he said reward.  Naw mother fucker you ain’t rewarding me!!! fuck you, make me undead for the rest of time, no thanks, nope, no me, you got cash?   thirteen year old girl meeting Justin Bieber, high pitchedmy quick retort….. Which seem to fume him a  just a little. He then reached in his vest,  Pulled a gold coin out twirled it in his bony fingers and simultaneously took a pig slurp while keeping his spooky ass eyes on me. Flicking the coin and slurping all in one motion…     subconsciously showing me,
Dracula can multi-task.  I better watch myself with this dude.   I opened the window and invited him to a chair….fucker starts by showing off.  Turns himself  into mist, the pig drops to the floor with a thud..Still alive just woozy from blood loss. Then materializes in chair  next to my computer.  Spooky shit this is some spooky shit, bout to pinch a loaf off, got the give this dude serious props….Pale and pointy nosed and dank looking green, but smelled like Channel no. 5????  Wat the fuck’s going on?..self don’t fuck up. I pick up as he’s been talking.. ” I’m Count Vlad Dracula”..he said and was also speaking about igor his manservant.  It seems Igor went and opened a Facebook account, it was low key and personal and so he didn’t mind Igor,occupying his daytime hours with such a trivial things. Then that movie came out about the teen vampires and werewolves ..what was the name he ask me? Twilight I said.  “Ahh Twilight? Right craplight ever since that crap came out Igor and I can’t get these young fucker to leave me  the fuck alone….what is wrong with them???”  Here read this …he touches my screen and poof his email at fb shows up…his likes are  at 140,032,981 and it was rising as we spoke.. I read.. Texas, laredo..Igor I’ll show you it again if you’ll send your master over to suck me.. twilight is the best of all time..proms this weekend and i need to be looking drop dead goth Beth!.   Billy, Ohio, dude count!  make me a vampire so i won’t  be so sucky? but I’d be real sucky.  Compton..Phlydog,  count fuck twilight  with your bitch ass.  I’m gang bangalanging  and if you could come over and make me a werewolves i’ll be all to smell the wimmin in heat and i won’t have to use a cap anymore i’ll be able to tear shit up..hook a ninja up..yo. See? assine comments he complained with that thick accent I continued..    BH, Cal..Buffy former vampire slayer… count,  i can’t get any work, everybody want to be a damn vampire, they won’t let me kill anything..    soooo if i can like, come over to your casket,  maybe this weekend???  I’m going to join u guys…and this type of messages went on for pages.  As I read, he slouch down further and reached for his forty ounce pig and took a slurp…then to my surprise he reached into the ashtray  and grabbed the blunt.  Putting it to his wrinkled thin ass  lips,  it just lit, from the far end….how?  Where do he get those toys??   Internally… I inquired
   
  Looking over at the notorious  Count Vlad Dracula of Transylvania from my chair he didn’t look that notorious right now. He was a shell of the vicious killer we all heard about as children, he looked tired and beat .. I felt a tinge of  sadness for this demon, lost without no one to  fear him, the world has  changed..   What chance do he have?  We spoke a little more he told about the three sister….. I don’t know, maybe because i could understand him and related and he didn’t bite me. I wanted to help. 
Some of these kids today are insensitive, are so passe.. spoiled, computer twenty-four seven. Cars at sixteen…. momma i want a tatoo on my hoohoo…and cruel I hope you die daddy, i want to be a vampire! i can do  make-up  sooo cool and not much is needed.. And look mom & dad… you’ll never have to pay for a funeral..ever! see!  Alway looking for the silver lining. So count is blunted now and he’s upside down… floating about the chair..yup upside down..fucked up and sad. What the hell am I to do?   He want helps, he needs help…i gotta  help this guy…I kinda like this blunt smoking, pig slurping upside down  chap!   Hey Count smile..As I snapped a pic……
My evening with the count

The Count

I’m going need help..
Funkangeles
Minichillerthriller…
Halloween Silly sweets..
Rain the wide shot


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Rain Thursday’s on me

Rain I love thee

Damn son I’ve been waiting, waiting for a long time for you to show. Get your blustery act in motion yo. I know you don’t get around much to visiting us in Los Angeles. You could call more. But I’m always glad when you do finally make an appearance. Amazed at you renewal and refreshing ability your skills set is top notch.

Rain you are so cleansing and your soothing relaxing to me.  I’d daydream all day if i could. (I think i have today)

I see The plants reach upward while being batter down, Strong tall trees swaying from the winds the nourishment rain that’s splashing and pummelling leaves racing down past abandoned nest over bark (nature’s armor) accustomed to wet it send water to limbs down to roots happily washing cleaning all the way.  
The Sky implodes with kinetic electrical charges sends water flying out in one direction, down..sometime sideways..
Rain down… me, mellow.. Smiles

And Sex…Oh.. yes a delightful environment enhancement .  It’s like God is rooting for you..

“yo i’m shoot down some thunderbolts and make it all scary and wet and proper….so handle that son… thanks JC
rain on baby…

Even the birds of the day are quietly enjoying the rain from a covered spot, I would think.

Splashing…a life love

Sad that some are sad on these days, I can’t comprehend but i judge not…hope you find your hope.

Listen..to the rain raining… pitter patter,  plankety splashty splash and the occasional car driving by, making that wet pavement noise.  Drip drip drip the gutter is getting in the silent caress of mother earth sending water and cleaning itself, the leaves that build up.

Wet dogs barking..because dry one’s don’t.

I love the rain it’s a renewal cycle. It’s been repeating itself for millennium  our ancestors enjoyed it stayed out of it kept the kids out of it and so on. Our descendants  should  also enjoy it as long as we don’t  screw the pooch and we doing it looking for oil and gas..the cycle we will  mess it up.

I remember looking out the window during the rain in Connecticut wishin I could go out but not being able to.. mom and her hearsay about cold’s. New London, Connecticut it’s close to the water. Seagull’s screeching happily fish are coming up to the top to see the rain (my view) and they’re making easy picking..

I love rain rain lifts my spirits and make this romantic mindwander…

I’m useless due to rain…haha new slogan.

Oh Rain, I dance
 A drop or two from you
Me……I prance
Wet  water
your order
its a bet
My inner child’s giddy, smiles and splashes down
Spirit is high…. Lift, I fly
Crisp as described
Air so fresh
Come down rain
come
Be our guest
Father thank you
Funkangeles
YOU WANT ME TO DRIVE WHERE?  in this rain??    (I can’t tell them)
I’ll get my boots…wheeeeeeeeeeeeRain the wide shot

The sky she cries