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A World O Funk…. Damn-it! where is my band?


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A Cowboy Story

Walking,  Bill was muttering and shaking his head

He just didn’t understand. Here he was in the same predicament again.

All mighty God and my horse have conspired again to make a fool outta me.

Not matter, with all I do for that horse, it always seems so wilful and lazy!

I think he would back talk if he could.

Again,  walking and I own a horse.  Sheesh.

Blurr’s my name. William Blurr,  fastest gun in the west

I’m fast with a gun. Swoosh will be all you hear.

Normal eyes can not keep up with the speed, it’s a blur.

Then flash bang….Death’s menu is on display: 1 dead, bullet to the eye!

Bill Blurr

But behind his back the town folk and his horse would call him.

“Bill Blurr The fat Cowboy.” .

Yea,the horse call him the fat Cowboy to!

Ok, he thought it!

The horse knew he was fat. He sat on his back.

That’s why the horse would move from outside the café when Bill went in to eat.

Even if he was tied up. He would untie and go down the street.

 

You see  3Bucks the horse, was the last thing Bill’s dad bought for him before he died.

3Bucks loved his new owner but nobody owned him.

He was ornery, When Bill’s pop first tried to ride him, He threw him three  times. As Bill tells it ” Poppa yelled at the seller, three dollars that’s all he’s worth, I’ll give ya three Bucks!   The seller, being use to getting more for horses, knew this one was ornery .   ” Sold”  he said!.

“Bill’s dad then said, and that’s your name”… And begat me 3bucks.

Yes, 3bucks learned how to untie his loop.

And he grew big, strong and beautiful and better mannered and

so did Bill…. somewhat.

  Momma can cook.. Chapter 1

“I would fast draw on my poppa to get the last piece of food.” Bill would say

“Then momma wouldn’t let us bring guns to dinner table anymore.

I think we winged the dog and momma was mad for the bad aiming.

So we fast slapped for the last piece of food from our holster. get up punk! ready! draw”

Slap! I began to win after a long time of losing. I was hungry.

 

Momma “biscuits and gravy” Blurr.

The thing I didn’t know, in some parts of the country.

Biscuits and gravy was only dinner time food. And in some states they never heard of it!

In our house it could be breakfast, lunch, dinner and sometimes dessert.”

He said in an autobiography, titled

“Did you see that? No! you’re dead!”

The William Blurr Story

 

So Bill’s walking and thinking

I’m a fine healthy manly stud of a fellow.

And that damn horse, he  thinks I need to walk after breakfast, lunch or dinner, all the god damn time.

It’s the circus for that damn donkey! Bill muttered as he walked off lunch, looking for his horse. God doesn’t save all sinners you mule. Bellowing to no one but himself

Now, 3Bucks the horse, would not leave anywhere else, not at the saloon, or the sheriff office or the Bank.

It’s only when Bill eats, the horse always knows.

And The Fat Cowboy was hot under his fat collar..

Walking.

3bucks was a smart horse and nobody owned him..

3bucks thought if Bill ever got shot, he would bleed.

He was at the printers, he had a poster made…..(since he can’t talk)

“The Fat Cowboy bleeds gravy”

signed

by a

horseshoe

Funny horse…

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A visit from home

Photography by Sethsnap. Your Story: Rural

Struggling to open my eyes from the massive crack the noggin. The one place i didn’t need to be. I  recall telling my cousin no.

Now I’m back on uncle Jed  farm.  My best times, where spent right here in these wood.  I left, following a girl to the big city.  And fell in love with the city. Didn’t get the girl but i stayed.

Ouch!  My dumb cousin conked me to hard trying to talk me into coming back out here. Because i was slow with an answer.   He just up and took me. Came to my place in the city and told me to return to unc’s  farm. I said NO!  Muleheaded family never liked no. It’s granny!

She’ll be needing my help with the seasonal  harvest….you would think  only corn,wheat  but also …WEED.   mUY GRANNY’s  a pot baroness.
It’s WAS Bad before with the moonshine but now with the weed.  It’s outrageous! ha

I’m in  my cousins room and i can see the old barn and the storage shed.  If those building could talk…..

We would have to wack em.. Granny had us dig many years ago a secret underground moonshine locker in the corner floor of the shed.  I guess it’s now a  weedlocker. Haha gotta love my granny.

It my big  dunderhead-ed cousin. I’ve got a beef with!  Telling me, “granny sez don’t take any guff or no from me..”  So you conked me!!!!!

Dang……..putting some burrs in his draws tonight..

I guess since I’m here, i might as well help out..

Then monday back to the city and my job as a police officer….

Family sheesh….

Your truly Gomer.

***********************

Hi Bloggers I’ve been stuck with the flew…..

Monday’s flu visit came with lot’s of heavy  luggage all on my chest..still went to class.

But now will have to pull out and start again November. no room in class and no more basses…poo

Friday the flu flew far away…

yay.


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Your Story: Cold

Cold

Photography By Sethsnap: Cold

Ancient Indians

The plains

They’ve  seen the same..

Year after year after year the same thing.

That was.

is still.

here.

This year.

Last year.

Buffalo roaming

telling

elk and dear.

IT’S Fricking cold again!

I’m going to go sleep with hibernating bear.