A World O Funk…. Damn-it! where is my band?

Foolish, fiction (from the crass files)

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Two Fictional customer service responses… Same company just different locations
From the President of Marketing and Public Trust

Dear Mr. Disgruntled

We of the company SHITNKISS (World Wide Super Hot Ingenious Total Blogger & Kitchen Implements  SuperStore) would like to take the time to respond to the dislike of material that’s been posted on the blog this week.
It’s unfortunate that you didn’t enjoy our free article.
Our service does not cost you, our clients anything, never the less..
It fills us with deep regret, that we were unable to satisfy your free entertainment needs at this time.
We here at SHITNKISS strive to bring the consumer a FREE interactive thought-provoking, total immeasurable entertainment.
If you have not had an excellence  online free experience, then we’ve failed YOU!
Enclosed you will find a code for two free movie passes. It is our hope this small token will remove any misdoings as we, this company, has befallen upon you.
Please enjoy
Our sincere apologies…
Thank you
Mr. I Reelie Gochaback
President of Marketing and Public Trust….
Super Hot Ingenious Total Blogosphere n Kitchen Implements SuperStore

Where  homies work..

From Mr. Chaos..
Parking Implementation & Mail-room/Penicillin
The company said i gotta do this ok…
Dear Mr. Big Giant Anus!
I’m a guy, at SHITNKISS. I’ve been instructed to take some time and respond to your disenchantment with our service.

Dude? Wassup, wit dis crap? Yo..

We have observed,that you have a lot of bitch_ass-ness in you!  And you’re crying bout sum’tin that is free. You are an… A1 DUMBFUCK!! and/or fucker.
 It’s unfortunate  that your mama didn’t give you a full set, as is in evidence by you Non-appreciative, Unwanted, Meth addled complaint!
Your complaining about free stuff has pissed the whole company off. And we all agree you are a sorry little weasel .
It would fill us with great regret, if we would have to drive over to 1313 crying bitch lane and slap yo punkass up a little…(yea we know where u live).


We do not mind finding ungrateful complaining free loaders. And personally putting a boot in a keister, just to get some act right, up in dis here beeatich… Just Saying!!!
Due to your constant complaining, the company has implemented special handling and instructional recurring fees, and it has  been exacerbate to a level 2 an unnecessary annoyance charge.
You’re to send us ten dollars by-monthly..
Our associates  Mr.Tiny  and Tingting  is in-route to assist you in setting up your payment schedule and they will be bringing payment envelopes!!  We do hope this won’t be an inconvenience you or you lovely family including, that cute little doggy.. chompers right?
We do thank you in advance for notifying us of you disenchantment and in the future….
Try to refrain from writing us regarding our FREE  product…you  do understand free right?
FREE.. Libre, Gratuit, חופשי  English Spanish French and Hebrew..
important tools 
Avoid ignorance at the cost of your ass being absolutely checked!
In closing 
you’ll find me parked outside you house, if we find a repeat of this type of inconsiderate and unconscionable behavior ….
Thank you for bringing our attention to this matter
Your… Really Truly..
Watch’n yo punk ass
Mr. Maka Chaos 
Parking Implementation Mail-room/Penicillin
Super Hot Ingenious Total Blogosphere & Kitchen Implements SuperStore

Author: Funkangeles

Finding myself one story at time..and... Really, where are you? My Band.. Musically inclined to encourage humans and non humans, to enjoy themselves...

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